On the road again

Life has been hectic and strange and difficult and wonderful.

Today I come back to my writing and revision. My main focus is getting the plot revision finished.  Based on Write Track, I'll aim for 6 scenes revised per day through Aug 24th.  Currently I have 75 scenes completed / 53 scenes to go.

Updates to follow...

7:05pm: Procrastinated... ate some dinner... procrastinated some more.
OK, here's the thing. I hate the current scene. UGH, it's terrible. Must kill it. But what do I replace it with? 

I need to be okay with the effort involved. In some ways this is just as hard as first draft. Sometimes easier but when the scene is wrong, it's time to write again.

I'd rather be watching the evil box right now.

Time to make decisions about the scene. I already know that I need to bring in one of the MCs. and I need to rewrite the rules of the game. It needs to come alive.

No, I won't watch the evil box right now even though it's easy and it's story and I loves it.

I just need to get in the right habit. somehow.

6 scenes to go. No problem. I mean, why not?

Yeah, ok, I moved the deadline out to end of Sept. I now need to revise 2 scenes / day. Still too much but much more realistic.

Will I ever be a published author?

And, just to be clear, I'm over 1/2 way completed on the plot revision and solidly in the murky middle. Which even though it's crap, it could still be much worse compared to some nightmare stories I've heard.

Ok, where's the remote? ...I've been at revision (off and on, mostly off) since April.

just do it

Wow this is a tough decision. I love the short story and again I can't figure out what to do about it. But just expand it already. Will it kill me to just spend a week turning it into a real story?

OK, so next up, during this long weekend I throw everything else aside, throw all caution aside, and turn this one thing into a story.

Climbing my way back...

I am a bit behind in the schedule because of my week off from writing but I am working my way back very slowly. I revised a short story and it's off for another beta read. Hopefully it's closer to the mark and I can save it. The nice thing is that I'll probably have a response by tomorrow- one good thing about writing short stories.

I still have another short to revise but I'm not sure I can get my mind freed up for it. I'm really glad I have a long weekend to possibly catch up on more of my goals- the timing couldn't have been better.

I had the strangest dream last night (similar to the ones where you suddenly remember a class you signed up for but now it's finals and you never attended a class or studied). In this case apparently I signed up for a writing class. I'm surrounded by writers, and I find out the synopsis is due by lunch. I'd thought we were just supposed to show up- very embarrassing. But so much better than the "college finals" dream, since I was immediately moving to get the pen out to remedy the situation when my alarm clock went off.

There is something different about writing, amidst all the doubts. It's not like math or biology or formulas. It's just making stuff up, and I can do that. There's something really reassuring about that.

Saved by the bell

Currently trying to rescue one of my previous shorts. Biggest issue is it lacks an ending.

How to give it one?

The boy has to come back and there has to be a resolution.

Who should win?

I guess I'll start there. Maybe work my way back.

Time to play catch-up

This past week was crazy. I had company for the week plus work so no writing, not even much thinking about writing.

My story's in trouble. I am at scene 6 / 6700 words and I've written myself into a plot hole, a big one that cannot live. I need to rewrite it. 2nd problem, not sure I like my MC. So if I'm going to rewrite it, do I rewrite her too? I think her voice is hard to read.

Maybe I should make another start of it.

Ok, no, I'm keeping her and revising to fix the plot issue. So first up, deciding what to change and what to keep.

Actually hold up- since I'm stuck I'm going to switch to the easier projects, try to get caught up on them in order to free up this week to work on the WIP.  Yay, I like that!

Cheating on myself

It's like Wednesday never happened...
Yesterday I did write about 300 words during my lunch break but I was having some other life stuff going on. I ended up just exercising and then spending time with evil box.

I know, I only cheated myself.

Today, I have some important real life stuff that I need to get done. Hopefully I can get back here tonight.

Goals for this week

I completed my goals for the weekend. Time to make sure my plans for this week are in order.

Current Status (a review):

• Revision (1sc/day): Caught up through Fri.
• 'Novella' (10k) (1sc/wk): 1 scene due Sat.
• Short story collection (2500 words/each) (1story/2wks): 1 revision due Sun. 1 new story due next Sat (6/29).  
• WIP (60K) (Sun, Wed, Fri): Caught up through Wed. Scene due Fri and Sun.

Goals for this week (to get ahead):

• Revision (1sc/day): 7-9 scenes
• 'Novella' (10k) (1sc/wk): 2 scenes due by Sat
• Short story collection (2500 words/each) (1story/2wks): 1 revision of existing story and 1 new story. (Need to brainstorm and outline new story). 
• WIP (60K) (Sun, Wed, Fri): 4 scenes due by Sat

This will take some doing but would really help.  

Tuesday's Goals

All right so today's goal:

1. Don't look ahead. Don't worry about quality. Write the next scene.

*** Update 8pm: 1083 words. I ended up moving some of it to scene 4.  

Scene 5 is now at 874 words...and that's a victory over perfection I can live with.

Plus I moved the plot forward and introduced another character. The character needs work but it's definitely a good start to him, the basics of what I wanted exist now.  Now if I can just connect with my other characters.

Talking myself off the ledge

Wow, serious case of self doubt today. Outside life is going well but the writing has taking a precipitous drop. I thought the writing was okay, I was liking the MC and the voice I was using for her, but now it's just terrible. I reread it and I can't stand it.

Is it possible I'm too close to it? But if I reach the end and it turns out she's really unlikeable that would be a lot of crap to fix. But if I show my beta reader now and she likes it then once again I didn't wait to let anyone read it and half the freebie-excitement of writing a new story is gone.

Just once I want to hand her a completed story--revised and polished--and say here, see what you think.
Which answers that: I will keep quiet and push on. Just once. And if it ends up being a trunk novel, I've only wasted a few months on it.

I love writetrack- let me count the ways. Just keeping to my schedule, I know the rough draft can be done by end of October. That's pretty awesome. Plus by then I'll have my first story in a trilogy making it's way around my Beta readers getting feedback. I'll even have a novelette and short story collection already published through Amazon.

All very good things.

Maybe by January, I'll even have some readers who love the worlds and the types of stories I'm writing.

updated status

Worked on goals all day Sunday but didn't make much progress with the scene.
Today I finally got brave and talked to hubby. Things don't seem so dire and I figured out some good world-building stuff. Scene 4 is finally done.

Status:

• New WIP- got through scene 4 finally. 1,239 words. plot isn't moving ahead enough but I got in some good world building which I can always cut/reduce during revision when I understand the politics a little better.
• Revised 4 scenes on Balance. Now at 68 done, 60 to go, which brings me through Friday's goal, so that's cool.

It looks like my big goals for this week (in order to stay on schedule) is to write 3 more scenes for WIP by Sunday and another scene on the Novelette by Saturday. (and some brainstorming work on short story collection would be very helpful).

Sunday's progress

Need to get Scene 4 completed to meet WriteTrack's goals for today.
After that I can move on to getting a little ahead.  Updates to come.

Sat Progress

Too early to tell but this juggling between multiple, completely separate projects may also be killing some of the Perfect impulse. Book no longer needs to be Event because if this one fails, I've got 3 others in various stages that have potential.

Just a thought. I hope it stays true for me because I hate having to physically force myself to write the next sentence...blood poring out of every pore... no Gabby--really--you won't actually die if the next word you type is not the perfect choice, I promise.

Major goal today

• Write 2 scenes for my new WIP- scene 3 and 4.

Backup goals today:

• If not burned out, write 2 more scenes on WIP (I need to get ahead on some of my goals this week as I won't have much time for writing in a couple weeks.)
• Rewrite previous short story to see if I can upgrade it to a keeper
• Plot next short story. Need unique situation with solid hook and good opening.

Now time to dive into the world of my MC and enjoy the process.

*** Update 11:48: something's wrong. I read the scene and now I'm surfing the web. I have no idea what happens next. Hopefully Muse is musing on it... off to get a few chores done and then I'll give the scene another try.

*** Update 2:20pm: 1 scene down. 838 words. Good stuff. Explains a lot that will happen later in the book. So excited. Now I need to write the next scene so I can be caught up through the weekend.

*** Update 4:29pm: 407 words on scene four but my attention is flagging. Time for a break and then I think I'll switch gears to the short stories for awhile.

Short story done

Short story revised and off for a critique... (2050 words) time for bed.

Tomorrow I'll work on a few scenes from the new WIP.

Weekend Goals

I have not been posting but I've been busy... my write track goals are staying on track.
I actually tried to set myself up for failure the other day, set another one of my winner, unrealistic goals [cause I just want to finish yesterday] but then the rest of my projects would have suffered. I backed off, found my way back to zen and came up with a goal for my novella that I can live with...

Goals for this weekend:

• Revision: Caught up through Monday. Nothing due until Tuesday [DONE]
• 'Novella' (10k): Nothing due until next Sat. [DONE]
• Short story collection (2500 words/each): 1 story due tomorrow. Mostly I need to try and add more hook to the story I already wrote. (Next one won't be due for 2 weeks) [DONE]
• WIP (60K): ~3 scenes (due today, Sunday, Weds) [DONE]

Tonight I'm going to try and get the revision completed on my short story.  This will free up my weekend to  get ahead on my WIP. Maybe I can even fit in some revision on Sunday.

I love my schedule- so much flexibility and freedom. Juggling my priorities is incredibly motivating, especially now that I've found a way to fit all 4 projects in at the same time (with reasonable deadlines).

Another step forward

Exciting news- I got scene 2 completed (which was my goal for the day). Actually, it wasn't even due until Weds so I am AHEAD of the game.

Next new scene is due Friday.

Ok, so the schedule, revision is due again on Weds.  I think I'll switch gears and try to figure that out. I've got 2 tough scenes to figure out. Hopefully the new WIP will percolate for me while I revise.

And not that I'm forgetting my short story. I do need to spend some time brainstorming that one because it isn't calling to me yet. The seeds are there but something is definitely missing.

UPDATE: My short story needs some attention. This is going to be due this Saturday instead, to move everything up a bit.  Now, I really need to brainstorm!

Wrote up my second short story. It's definitely missing the twist, or the twist just isn't coming across. Must work on that some more tomorrow.

Anyway: scene 2: 1440
Short story: 1476

new WIP in progress

I didn't know if I could do it but I got the 1st scene of my new WIP completed- 1213 words

Once I got her voice it just kind of flowed out of me. But now, how do I keep all my MCs from sounding the same?  lol. hmmm, must think about it.

But now, what to do next? next scene would be the smart thing to do.

I didn't do any of that but this evening I revised a couple of scenes.
Now, maybe I'll get a start on scene 2.

UPDATE 8:21: I ended up revising a couple of scenes, so I should be good until Weds.
I just got 351 words on the second scene, and now it's time for bed.

New and improved schedule...

New updated schedule- let's see how this goes.

Schedule:
Daily:	revise 1 scene/day- due 8/24
Weekly:	WIP- write 3 sc/wk- due 10/26
	write 1 short story/2 weeks- due 8/3

I've got this all set up in WriteTrack with lots of 0 days (for example, new WIP only has scene due on Sun, Weds and Fri, and short story only has something due every second Sat).

I'm excited- I think this is a very doable schedule!

Today:

• Short Story goal: Today I already spent a lot of time brainstorming my next short.  I have something roughed out but not quite hooked yet, and haven't figured out the opening yet. I will let it simmer for awhile.  DONE  (The actual story is due Jun 22nd)
• Revision: I just revised 1 scene on my existing project. DONE
• New WIP: I need to get one scene written on new WIP by end of day tomorrow. I would like to keep this really loose, no pressure, just let the story happen and revise it once it's done. This is going to be the harder goal but it would be good to keep the writing muscles tuned up.

I decided to go ahead and revise my scene, which was due tomorrow. Tomorrow is now free for brainstorming and writing on the new project. I'd love to succeed with this schedule.

On a new track...

Not sure if this is the right thing but I am changing my mind.

I love my first story; I believe it's very strong.
My original idea to link the other stories is not working. They are not as strong as the first one and the limits are handicapping my imagination. I think the 1st story said everything I wanted to say about it.

Back in the saddle again

Ok, so, back to the drawing board for story 3.  (actually I'm still waiting on feedback for story 2.)
Things are not turning out the way I'd hoped.  Story 1 just flowed out of me. The others, not so much.

I really liked how helpful the brainstorming was for the yet-unwritten story 4 (and just to clarify needs many more hours of thinking before it will be ready to write) so I'm going to do that for story 3.  I hope to keep some of the bones but figure out a way to tell it in a new way, with a more short story feeling to it.

Please wish me luck!  Hopefully I'll have an update soon.

(and little dvorak update, when I test I am now somewhere around 55-70 wpm but I think I may be faster. I can pretty much keep up with my thoughts... but tons of typos. Backspace is my bestie)

On to story 4

Flying blind on story 4 but I'm hopeful.

I've got story 3 out for feedback. I'm expecting the worst and let her know not to worry. But I need a fresh set of eyes on it to let me know exactly what state things are in.

So story 4, time to come up with an overview of events...

UPDATE 6:08 pm- I'm not being upfront about how I'm feeling. Completely lost.
Sometimes it works to post the details here, because I need someone to talk to about it, so it may as well be me.

I'm so sad. The 1st story has amazing potential (from what my biased opinion can tell) to find readers.  Story 2 is kind of ok, but maybe a little weak on the ending.  Story 3 is ok but not well written, with almost no ending.

And now story 4 is about nothing. [...cut/cut/cut...]

I might be on to something here.  Will post update soon.

UPDATE 2 (7:40pm): Yay, something is starting to shake loose, truly starting to shape up. Lots and lots of holes still but very exciting. I love the direction if I can pull this off.  and I have a very strong contender for scene 1/hook
It could actually rival story 1 in my affections, which is what I was really hoping would happen.
But how to tell it in so few words. very interesting question. Definintely NO room for fluff!

(about 850 words, backstory work)

time to get the ending on story 3

Still dragging my way slowly toward the end of story 3.
Made some good progress during lunch when I let go of some of the requirements.
Funny thing, as soon as I give up some of the control it ends up coming out the way I was forcing so hard anyway.

Very odd. Hopefully I can report that story 3 is in the hopper tonight...

UPDATE 8:10pm: Finally reached the end of story 3.  What a total piece of crap. I've got lots of work to do to make it salable... heh, readable...

and onward

Again unbearable pressure. Just read story 3 again and bleh. I was so excited. but that's okay, must push forward until the end of story 5.

It will all work out, must keep the faith.

Time to stink this thing up

Ok, I'm done with freezing up and not writing a single word.  In the next hour I am going to write the crappiest story ever.  I am going to write until I reach the end.

No more stressing that the story is stupid and I can't write more until it's beautiful and perfect.

Talk to you again at 7:30 when I promise to have the stupid version of the story completed!

Update 8:20: ok, it's not finished. But things got unstuck.  WOOT, WOOT. So exciting.
But now I have reached the end and not sure how to write it correctly.

Which means one thing- am I not even listening???- I'll write the stupid version first, and I can write the perfect version later.

-oops, bed time- 838 words. hopefully the ending comes tomorrow.

My antagonist is feeling shy

Running into a lot of trouble with story 3.  I seem to have flagging interest in the characters, and don't want to spend time getting to know them or what they want or why they want it. I think because I placed so many requirements on my muse for what needs to happen- oh and it has to be amazing right out of the gate. Geez.

To Do today- need to get out of my head. I need to brainstorm my antagonist- maybe have a conversation with her, try and open up communication again.

1. Who is my antagonist? Where does she come from?
2. What does antagonist want / need?

Update 12:17- Yay- the antagonist is talking. Still don't know what the heck she wants but I love the stuff I'm getting. [actually I know what she wants, just not why yet] On the bad side, I wonder if my Beta reader will like this stuff. When I read it though, it just sucks me right in. Mustn't worry about it now, must figure out the next scene.

Update 1:38: Now I've gotten to the why section of the piece and I am therefore stuck. Also I need something more, right now it's a bit straightforward and running a little short.  It'd be so great to have the rough draft done today.  (To be honest, I'm a bit behind and have 2 others to write by next weekend)

2 of 5 completed

I hope I will not jinx myself in saying that I have completed 2 short stories- 3 more to go, and after revision and lots of critique I will finally have something to sell. Finally have something published.

It's exciting.  The muse doesn't like the pressure though of creating something good, so after the 1st story flowed out of me, I have stalled out.  (It can't be all right/or close enough/it must be AMAZING)

but I will push forward.

Story 2 has been redrafted about 3 times so far but getting closer to a good story every time.
Story 3 is just in my head- need to get it onto the page.

please wish me luck

2 scenes down

Quick update- 2 scenes revised today. I am now at 54 out of 129 scenes.

Battle onward

4 scenes yesterday. Worked through a tough section there. Not that they were bad but they were full of darlings.  So tough to move those lovely lines to the cut section of the manuscript.

38 out of 129 completed.

On the flip side, I'm making friends with the snapshots tab of Scrivener.  Didn't get it; didn't trust it before but  it's wonderful.

Anyway, Sunday stretches before me today. I have some chores to do but should still have some pretty good writing opportunities.

Onward...

Update 2pm: 3scenes- 88 to go
Update 5pm: 6 scenes- 85 to go

Update 7:30pm: 11 scenes completed today (80 to go)

FOUR scenes left to reach the Novel Midlands.

Luckily my middle is in semi-good shape (I say now, hah!). It's the end that's going to be a bear!!

and the day stretched before me...

It's Saturday! Which means it's time to put some time into writing.

I never thought this was going to be such a tricky section to revise. It's definitely worth the effort- things are better. There was a lot of false tension and things that no longer fit with the truth of the novel.
It's hard though seeing how rough the writing is. I am not a pretty writer. Maybe some draft?

Updates to come!

Troubled scene underway

(6:07pm): Made some good edits during lunch today to my troubled scene.  It is a little less of an info dump now.
I've got a lot of work left to do on it but I'm going to try and get it to revised form tonight.
I'll update soon.

(7:45pm) Woot- one troubled scene done! It's still a bit rough. I'll probably take another pass at it tomorrow.

(8:06pm) I feel too tired to attempt another scene. Headed off for some reading...

Back to my regularly scheduled programming... 'death to all darlings'

4:40pm: As I was saying last night, I have 4 difficult scenes to update today- very difficult to face for me; I am attached to the current version.

I need to get the correct version straight in my head and just do it.  I guess today I'll take advantage of Scrivener's snapshot feature so I can let it go. Updates soon...

*** UPDATE 6:50
1st scene is pretty close
2nd scene-which I am halfway done with-is very rough.

But I am much happier with both. Gives some much needed backstory, while controlling for infodump.

*** UPDATE 9:03
Ended up calling it a TV night. Probably best to let the scene stew for awhile anyway.
Again, I'm resisting fixing things for some reason- even knowing the new version is currently all over the place.  Oh well, it was still progress today so that's something.

Facing down the changes

I'm in another difficult section- changes are needed but I'm attached to the current version.

But it's needed.

I tried to fix what was there (to keep it) but it doesn't work. The conflict is wrong and I can't avoid that anymore.

Tomorrow I'll try to do a real update on the 4 scenes.  The book will be better off for it.

Joy that grows out of the struggle

I've heard before this spoken of fake writers and posers- "they don't like to write, just to have written.  Unfortunately I've often thought this was true of me, and it's made me wonder about my future.

But in today's bit of procrastination I came across this...
"The writer who loves his work is not of a sordid nature. The check an editor sends him for his story is the smallest part of his reward. his has been the joy to create, to see a thought take form and amplify under the spell of his inspiration. A joy which is scarcely less is to know that his work has been appreciated by others."

It captures the joy of having written.  It is a struggle to write until inspiration hits and then it is so much more rewarding than anything else I could have spent time doing.

"Writing is it's own reward... To the writer the joy of the work is something infinitely higher, finer and more satisfying than its pecuniary value to the editor who buys it. Material success, of course, is a necessity...But this is also true: A writer even of modest talent will have material success in a direct ratio with the joy he finds in his work!-Because, brother of the pen, when [he] takes pleasure in an effort, then that effort attracts merit inevitably..."

Both quotes from- The Fiction Factory, John Milton Edwards

Fighting perfect

I was doing my normal procrastinating and came across this set of entries- where DWS gives us a chance to follow along as he writes a novel in small bursts of writing throughout the day.
http://www.deanwesleysmith.com/?p=8935

Very interesting. I can't give up the need to revise- I wonder if his books would sell better if he edited at least a little bit, and he would say it's my loss as I've been making this the 'PERFECT' book for 7 years now, with no income to show for it.  Book = Event  (definitely a myth I cling to and believe)

Now off to do some more redrafting  - currently at 29/127 scenes

***Update 10:30pm (after a movie break)

I procrastinated most of the day but around 4:30pm or so, I settled down to work. Turned off the internet. Weirdly enough the DWS entries actually encouraged me to dial back in on my revision (which is completely opposite of what DWS preaches). But he does preach 'trust the process' which is something I haven't been doing consistently.

The last 4 scenes or so that I revised didn't have any plot holes but they just didn't feel right. And I was trying to soldier right on past them. Anyway I went back and fixed them.

One thing revision is teaching me is not to be afraid to let the characters ask each other difficult questions and to not to be afraid of letting in some more consequences. After fixing these scenes that were dragging on my psyche, they've added a nice bit of layering to plot points that happen later in the story. All thanks to getting out of my characters' way(s) finally.

back for some more hack and slash...

I'd like to get some scenes revised today, not sure what I can do in an evening, so this will be interesting.

Tomorrow I might have most of the day to revise; I'm looking forward to that.

Will update soon.

more pretties

Fighting my way through another kill zone.  Oh the pretties.
This is very hard: The paragraph is a mess but I love the sentences.


update: 4 scenes revised now. working on the 5th
I spend 5 mins, trying so hard to keep a sentence. Remove the sentence.
The paragragh works as though it was never there.
doesn't sound like much but it seems like they're should be some unrecoverable harm when removing one of the darlings...

update 7:11pm: new total 19.  That's 12 total today.

Kill the darlings

Kill the darlings has taken on a whole new meaning for me while I've revised.

To me, it used to mean a clever turn of phrase that a writer couldn't bare to part with because it was just so...
Since I don't have those- hah!- I thought I wouldn't face it

I finally understand that it means anything you love.

This morning I came thisclose (for the millionth time) of giving up on the whole thing.  I faced a scene with dozens of phrases and bits of character interaction that were so right, said just the right thing, but needed to go.

I couldn't face it.

I knew it was a better writer than I who can kill their darlings.

But I forced myself to go back and face the cutting floor.  I saved them out to the document notes section of Scrivener.

The scene survived the loss. It's okay.

Rinse, repeat x 100.

Revision begins...

Finally revising.  I'm filling in plot holes and adding backstory.

7 scenes revised yesterday.

Back in the saddle again...

After a very long hiatus and then finally some actual work, I have a much better list of questions.
Before I was at 18 pages... Now I'm at 5 pages filled with key questions, all high level (about 1900 words)

Silly to spend so much time on this but I do like the results. Now I can focus on getting all the plot stuff to hold together nicely.

Yay for progress

Shifting into brainstorming mode...

Busy weekend for me but finally categorized my revision questions.

I'm going to stay away from the rabbit hole ones (like figure out class schedule and student names and addictive minutiae like that and stick with the black holes that really impact the story line. (I'll get to the other ones but need to eat the veges first)

In total, I've got 44 topics to figure out and I'd like to be done by March 2nd.
Write Track says I'll need to get through 2 topics a day, so not sure I'm going to make this deadline.

But here's to trying...

Next Steps...

Finished documenting my problem list: 79 scenes made my unanswered question list.
They were divided pretty evenly between easy (24) [come up with a name for this thing], medium (29) [change the way she reacts to this] and hard (26) [figure out a new rule/explanation for the world] scene fixes BUT the nice thing is there is lots of overlap (so solving one problem could clear out 5 or more troubled scenes)

Next up will be sorting my questions by category- so that all similar issues are together and I can attack each group as a whole. This will be my true count of issues. Ran out of time so I'll handle that tomorrow. Then I should be ready to create a new write track calendar because I've never met a deadline I couldn't miss.

I really wish I didn't have to quit yet tonight.

Goals Today

Dvorak update: I am up from 21wpm to 35 (so that's something).  Not enough but something...

I'm currently at 92/117 scenes (I got 26 completed during lunch).

Goal Today:
Finish documenting the scene notes.
Organize list and come up with my next Write Track calendar.

struggles with dkorat- oops, I mean dvorat- gah, nevermind

Dvorak is really bumming me out.  I suppose it's  never a good time to switch but it's so painful to say anything now. I catch myself- can I make my point with less words?
And it's a struggle to communicate the simplest concepts. At work "sounds good" has become "k" Not that I was the poster child for friendly before but it is such a struggle to say ANYTHING.

I want to give up.  I talk myself down from the ledge: This will pass too...some day...I hope.

On the writing front I got through 58 more scenes. New total 66 out of 117.
I was getting trapped in fixing so now I'm mostly copying my questions to a separate doc (unless it's really quick)

[gah, trying and failing for the same letter 3 times (rinse/repeat for at least 5 different letters in the same word) (AND constantly selecting the SAME wrong key for that letter) - I have no words for how sick I am of the backspace key. I miss my old flying 110 wpm fingers]

And I'll be honest, I keep making the mistake of looking up and realizing how far I have left to go with this revision. Because even once I get all the unanswered stuff answered and the scenes updated to match, I then have to edit out all the awkward yuck writing, so prevalent in each and every paragraph of each and every scene.

Forming the unanswered question list...

Today I'm going through all the questions/comments I made while wearing my reader hat:

1.) If they're straight forward fixes, I'm making the changes.
2,) If they require thought/contemplation, they go to my question list for later (and this should keep them front-and-center on Muse's radar too, to percolate). :)

Today I got through 8 out of 117 scenes. I like what I'm getting and it's fun.

For me writing is very black-hole stressful but this is ALL play. I wish I could write in this easy-going state. I'd be so much more productive.

Revision going well

I put in a lot of work tonight fixing the end. Technically completing the read through with a critical eye. It's not nearly as broken as I'd thought, which is pretty exciting. This was definitely the right decision. I need to make the ending work before I can be confident enough to move forward with book 2.

I'm quite in shock that I like the ending now.  There are still some holes and problem scenes but not nearly so bad as it was.

Novel currently sits at 110K and soon to grow.

I am starting to get hopeful again that this will one day be a book worth reading. And maybe the second one is possible too.

Goals Redone

My husband and sister share similar viewpoints- if I've finished writing the story, it's time to put it out there.

I hesitate because what if book 2 needs something to be desperately different in book 1. But maybe it's right.  I'm still trapped in wanting things to be perfect before I jump off the ledge.

But maybe it's time to take a risk; let the writing be out there for better or worse.

Time to revise and make book 1 a book.

Goals Today

All right time to get in some goals (the exciting part):
Write Track has me at 710 words/day now so I need to get this story moving.

Time to get a scene written that moves the story forward and has a little fun

The Dreck

I've still got dvorak but that's it.

I used to be up around 100/110 wpm; now I'm crawling around 20. It's frustrating to start over like this (and slow down my thinking in order to communicate) and it makes me wonder if it's worth it or just another distraction from the writing I should be doing. Then again I never finish anything so maybe I should suck it up. It won't be like this forever. I'll get this.

The writing. I'm bored with the story to be truthful. It doesn't seem to have enough left to do. But when I take a step back and remember what Muse did with the stuff from bk1. This book has just as much going for it. So what's going on?

The obvious answer is that I'm taking this way too seriously. The pressure is way too high. And I fear failure way too much. What's the worst that can happen if I finish the book and it's terrible?

I know it sounds terrible but seriously the dreck that gets published - at worst mine will be just another story added to that pile. And if I could just learn how to let the expectations go, get in to the story and write. Let it all go and enjoy the process, just write for me.  And me doesn't care if the magic makes sense right now, she just wants to find out what happens next.

If I could just keep in mind that everything can be fixed in revision and that I'm writing this because I like the world and the story and the characters and it's fun!

Touch typing at its most entertaining...

So far I have 690 words.  But that was last week and I'm running out of excuses not to show up here every day.

(On a side note, I'm finally learning dvorak. This post brought to you by the letters J P Q Y X and all the punctuation marks I can no longer find.)

Actually I'm hoping this will take a little of my focus off the quality of my prose and refocus it on getting words on the pagev

Starting Over

Everything is fresh and new. Brand new page, new scene, new book.

Goal 90,000 words
Due: May 31st
Daily Word Count goal: 800 (rounding up cause I'm going to need it)

So this is the first page of Book 2. Brand new story. Nothing attached. This is fun
And I know of some great things I want to include in here.

Time to get started. Let it be what it will be. Write now, revise later...

Brainstorming mode today

Ok, so apparently I'm still in stall mode. Technically I made it through HTTS Lesson 6, but I haven't actually done anything, just letting the ideas swirl around.  I've determined that my Antagonist and Conflict is going to need lots of work.

I still like book 2's ending scenes but I haven't figured out the overarching conflict to resolve yet and what the resolution/big scene will look like.

I don't know- I pretty much guarantee I'm going to keep re-reading more HTTS lessons.  Yikes. Not good, not good. But I just really want to be reminded of more of the HTTS stuff before I start trying to make Book 2 a legitimate story instead of filler.

I'm still alive...

So, a lot has changed since last we "spoke"

Big Thing: I am on to plotting book 2.  Yesterday I made up a quickie scene list/outline.
And low and behold, found a new place to break book 2 and book 3.  (My Muse has been bugging me for awhile to break the book sooner but I was resisting, but now it's perfect).

Anyway, I am restarting HTTS and Gifford's 2YN class to get the plot completed.
Currently the plan is to plot all the way through the end of book 3. Because this must NOT expand beyond a trilogy. I need to get this thing sold and start making money at this.

I know I'm the most boring blogger in the world. But I promise to always kill the boring in my books!

And ruminating on things, I plan to have the first cover letter in the mail by Jul of 2014, my 40th birthday.


Jan - Jun: Book 2
Jun - Jul: Plot Updates
Jul - Jan: Book 3
Jan - Jun: Revision
Jul: Cover Letter Due

Back for more

(Around 10 or so): So I've decided to really focus on just the high-level documentation like I'd originally planned. I have no idea if that's the right decision.  The other option is to take the month to go through every scene and fix it now. But that would leave me to think about the messy end at the end of the month, rather than start working on it right now, as part of my next revision phase (when I attack all the unanswered questions).

UPDATE (12:03): Starting to feel burned out again. Trying to keep it high-level though so it's definitely going a little faster for me. 10 scenes completed so far this morning.

Progress Report

12:11pm:  I am now at scene 60.   [57 scenes to go]
Really liking what I'm getting. I've actually revised to add some details in.  Loving the description. I want to live there so that's a good sign.  (Now, whether the reader can picture any of it is another story).
Also, I took a quick pause to hang up the laundry so truly nothing is hanging over my head! I love that.
Now back to story...

Wow, I have a long way to go - yikes! Must not look too far ahead.

Just one scene at a time. I can do this.

12:54pm: Took a break for lunch.  I'm now setup in a new room (slightly less comfortable but hubby's got the TV going and I know it'll be way too distracting for me).

Anyway, I feel the need to celebrate my accomplishments in the revision so far.  At the moment, I'm way too overwhelmed and negative.
I'm almost 1/2 way through the book already and I've gotten lots of great stuff documented. Hmmm, not sure what else I meant to put here. But it's okay. Time to really get refocused- meaning one scene at a time.  One scene done is a big step forward.  And this process is easy - way, way easier than the first time through, when it was blood pouring out of every pore.  To be honest- this part is pure fun.
(and alternate note, because we had company, the house almost sparkles.  Not sure how long it'll last but it's really nice not to feel any guilt about what I should be doing right now.  And again, this is fun so it's what I want to do right now.

2:13pm: Well, that's dedication for you- hubby is watching a movie and I'm in here, continuing the good fight against this scene. Getting lots of good stuff and I've seen the movie before, so that helps.  Still, an hour and I'm only halfway through the 60th scene! LOL. But the results are worth it.

3:15pm: Well, scene 60 is in the can.  A little rough in one spot still but light years improved.  Love it in fact. On to the next scene- I think this one will be much less involved. And I've broken 2 of the scenes so far in half, so my scene count is a bit off now.

4:35pm: 2 more scenes processed (about 7 so far today). I have about 53 left to go.  Progress is alot slower than expected. But I wasn't expecting to revise today either.

I'm burned out and taking a long break.

The plans the thing...

Ok so real life has receded and it looks like I have the entire weekend to work at the revision. I don't even have dishes hanging over my head (woot).  (Although now that I think about it, I should probably get some laundry going)... (update 10:16: laundry's going, beds made, a few other chores finished and I am good and leftovers for lunch) WOOT- this is great.

Plan today:
(Yesterday I got through about 15 scenes, something like that)
1.) Finish the read through, documenting any issues I find (about 60 scenes to go)
2.) Next I need to go through all my annotations and organize any questions into one word document (places wherever I wasn't sure which way to go with it or need to really decide what a character was thinking/knows). And just to clarify: I will be making all decisions before I move on to next step- even the tiniest thing- If I don't know the answer, I will include it as a question and get the decision made (ex what symbol, what name, what color, etc, etc.)

Then the rest of the plan (whatever I can fit in, this weekend and into the next couple of weeks):
1.) Make the decisions/choose which way to go with it.
2.) Update the novel to match my decisions- by the time I'm done, all annotations should be accounted for (unless it's a note about awkward wording).
Part that scares me and will take the most time:
3.) Create/rewrite the ending so that it's an actual ending and feels like a reward for reading the book.
4.) And then I think I'll stop there and start planning book 2.  (I think I'm going to leave all the prettying up on bk 1 for after I'm done with the bk 2.)
5.) Get book 2 written... :)

(Due date for completion of high level revision: End of January)

Another 15 scenes tonight

I got through 15 scenes tonight.  Real Life has conspired but at least I got some done tonight.
To make my goal, I need to get 38 scenes done tomorrow and the next day,.

I'll probably be playing a bit of catch up on Saturday.

Anyway, will write more this weekend when I finally have time.

30 scenes due tonight

During lunch I only got through about 2 scenes so I have lots to read tonight to stay on track with my due date. (Of course I'd love to get many more scenes read to get myself a little ahead).  A month to get all of this done is just not enough time. But I'll see what happens.

So far I'm liking what I'm getting. And focusing on being the reader instead of worrying about how I'm going to make it work is much less stressful.

Will update soon!

Update: 26 scenes completed but I'm tired and starting to go cross-eyed. Will work some more tomorrow.

Up Next- Re-read with a critical eye

2.) Gathering a list of unanswered questions, plot holes and character back-story questions. DUE 1/4

I need to read about 30 scenes / day.
As I'm reading a scene,  I would like to be at my most critical and document any and all issues and concerns. But also I would like to document the elements of the scene card to see whether it's there and rate the scene (how close it is to first draft/share with the world level). And also document story lines and rate whether they can be cut.  (So kind of a lot to get done this week, I admit).

Brief Desc/Action:
Where/When:
Goal:
Against/With:
Conflict:
New Goal:
Twist/New Info:
Rating: