The Motives...

The ending looms on the horizon.  And yes!  Only now am I figuring out where the antagonists stand. And there are way too many of them. rather too many groups of them.

And I don't get what they want. Other than they can't be on K's side cause then, why doesn't she just join forces and further contribute to her passive bystander role?

And they can't join forces together: the antagonists must have opposing goals. or else why wouldn't they tell each other "stuff" about who's who, etc. and then K is in jail. which I didn't want that way.  

So not sure how to resolve that bit yet. 

It'll be interesting once it's done to figure out how much is actually working vs. how much I just imagined was working vs. how much I thought wasn't working is actually just fine.

did any of it work??

Course I need to get another 30 to 40k before I get to have perspective on the thing. (I know, even then it's with author brain but it'll be a little more clued in then right now...)

In pieces that you leave behind

My friend's dad died today. Unexpected, of a heart attack.

It's so different the way you feel when they are slipping away from you slowly and when it is all of a sudden.

I didn't know him. But I'm so sad for my friend. And I'm so sad that someone can be taken without giving us a chance to say goodbye.

Death is so final.

My husband is very sang-frois about it. He said everyone goes. He is dealing with diabetes and he's so matter of fact about the fact that he expects to die young.

I guess it's good for me, given my deep fear of death. I don't accept the wall. I don't want to be stuck on one side while my husband is on the other.

I miss my grandfathers. But I notice I am more depressed aboutt the one that took his own life than the one that faded, gently away.

I miss my uncle that I lost when I was 13... how long was that? 23 years ago now. maybe 24. He had a stroke in a pool and drown. It was a shock that doesn't leave me.

I regret the grandfather that died before my father was even born. It's not fair that I never got to meet him, and know what he was like, and see the similarities between him and my dad. Which is nothing to the curiosity my dad must feel.

Why must we get such a limited time here? Why can't we know if it continues? Like Doubting Thomas got to know. I wish he would come fill us in too.

If that's too much to ask, just let me on the secret. Is it sleep and then black? Or do I wake up and get to see them all again. Maybe regret and sorrow is part of the lesson that makes us appreciate heaven more? Well it's a cruel test in my opinion.

Why don't I write anymore? Why do so many people think you shouldn't get paid to write?

well, it's all figured out. but no time spent writing in the changes or the new scene. truly deadlines are not my friend...

went fishing but no bites tonight...

Oh, big fat fail tonight. 570 words but mostly just brainstorming stuff.
I don't understand anyone's motivations. And if no one makes sense to be an obstacle then why is the scene even necessary?
OK, so how does she get behind the scenes? Because she asks for permission and he says yes.
oh, yippee. please can I have some more?

I could blame it on the heat wave or taking the time to go swimming... and i'm tired. but... oh how I wanted to be done this month. but there's no way to make it up. and that's all there is to it.

so i need to sleep tonight and hope that my muse ponders it and comes up with some sort of interesting twist. Or gives me the angle and hook into this scene so it grabs me... because I don't want to make a habit out of this. I will show up every day regardless. I'd just like some progress to show for it.

Pretty please

and I was so excited about my progress yesterday. Why can't I have two good writing days in a row?

GOAL MET: + 1552 NEW WORD COUNT: 71,493

The refocusing helped. I was able to hook into the next couple of scenes and some interesting things happened.  

yay!  1552 words.  Goal met!!   good writing day :)

Time to reach the end already!! 70,002-> headed to The End

April 15th... wow.  and now it's July 5th

Still no progress with the writing.

Although... the book is plotted out now (just completed that last night) but I can't seem to get interested in the actual writing.  There's no hook! that's what's missing.

I do like my last blog post though.  For fun, I would like to see how it all ends up.  Forget how much work revision will be and how depressing it will be if I have to rework everything.  Just focus on the fun of creating a whole new world.  

Why not??

And because I haven't met a deadline that hasn't ruined me yet... why not announce another one so I'll be sure not to meet it?  I just can't seem to help it.

So by the end of August, I need to write "The End" and mean it.  (Note: not that I won't have a few scenes to re-imagine because they spoil too much.)  But still, everything that's left in my outline from current point to the end needs to be done.

My current word count is 70,002.  I would like to add another 30,000 words (or around that...)

30,000 words divided by __ days  27+31 = 58 days -18 (weekends) = 40 days

750 words/day  

Starting today!!

[Wait! I just need to update this with... yah! I plotted out the book to the end. It's a real end! Something was actually accomplished in this book so maybe the reader won't feel like it was a waste of time.  So yah, I plotted out the rest of my book!!! My fingers should be flying right now, why aren't they?"]

And I made up The Sentence!  about 30 words.  so ! there you go, i am so close.  Now I need my 750 words for today!!!

(To finish this month, 27 days, is about 1200 words/day)