BAH to blog. I think it was auto-saving when I clicked save and I lost everything. EVERYTHING. [to be clear: it said there was a save conflict]. No, I'm not writing it over again. but it was awesomely boring just like always. but wah, I loves it anyway. It was my precious words and they is gone. boo.
So the gist of it is, I made progress. I succeeded at the scene. I have no energy to blah on about how awesomely happy I am right now. Once was enough. I'll spare you.
about 560 words.
...and once MC is outcasted the potential ripples are fantastic. poor little cheese girl.
...on the + side, I am now depressed about something silly. hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight instead of tossing and turning and dwelling on how awesome it will be to be done. and to have the book exist. cliff notes version: even in rough draft form, it's the story I imagined it to be with some nice, unexpected turns. it's not polished. horrible punctuation and grammer. mostly all tell/no show. but still, it's an actual story. and it's a dream come true.
UPDATE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I can't help it. I know this is my first book and I've heard stories about the revision process and re-reading it and cowering and the horror of realizing that the book you thought you wrote is no longer there. It's been replaced by the most boring crap. I know, I know. But I am not listening. It serves no purpose other than to discourage me. So that's why I'm going to blah on about how immensely thrilled and proud I am. I'm over 67,000 words. It's an accomplishment. I can't help it and I can't hide it. If someone asks me later, "did you know how well it would do?" (say that happens and it actually does well), my answer would be "i don't know how anyone can put 3 or 4 years into something and not dream practically every day that it will be read and loved by everyone in the world." Maybe I'm not supposed to admit that but there it is. I'd just watch other people's stories if I didn't think this one was worth putting the effort in to. I can't help it. I want results, damn it. That's why I'm not veging on TV right now.
So from now on when I go all mush on how happy I am, just read into it all the typical disclaimers: Yes, I realize it's rough draft. Yes, I know I am a crap writer. No, I never expect to succeed at this. I'm just doing this for fun. blah, blah, blah. Cause this is my blog, I want to be proud of it. It's hard work. Every last bit of it. I'm pulling my hair out and gnashing my teeth and struggle, struggle, struggle. And I want it to be worth it. I can't help it.
UPDATE: Ha! Ctrl-A + Ctrl-C is your friend. Never will I ignore you again. :) (If I do, obviously it's my fault!)
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