Stuck in the void again

bleeding onto the page. that's the only way to describe it. technically i have written things. but not really actuallly anything.
this is a farce. how would i ever manage to make stuff up for a living?
ideas are so easy to come up with but taking the chars through their paces, page after page, is so difficult. if only i could see my scene and why it's necessary. i just can't get a toehold into it.

and there's nothing better than having a scene come out and just click for you.
that happened yesterday.
but today. it's staring at the black void again.
i don't care if it sucks. correction. i agreed not to care if it sucks. but blah, me no like boring. me no like tagging after people that i don't care about. And me don't understand how i'm going to tie up all the loose ends in the story i've got left.

i was reading this blog the other week from this full time writer, talking about how easy it is and how he doesn't understand why people try and say it's a difficult job. it's fun.
and then i read another blog where someone mentioned they didn't believe in writer's block just writer laziness. which means it is difficult. the reason we get lazy is because it's so difficult that it's easier just to shelve it and ignore it and hope the problem goes away and the muse figures it out while we're gone doing something else.

the guy who said it was easy said that if you are having trouble you are stuck in 'book as event'. which certainly i am. i wanted to publish it.

I have tried to take his advice and not care that NOTHING IS HAPPENING THAT I'M INTERESTED IN but blah.
i want to see the scene as a movie. i don't know how to facilitate that. i wish i could get myself through this.